Of slushies, dumpsters, and stupid boyfriends
by Complexly Simple Kiddo
Summary: Kurt had about enough of Blaine trying to suffer through all the bullying Kurt had. So he gets creative, and wonders why he didn't thought of it before. Blaine and Kurt Back in McKinley, established Klaine. Bad influence Puck. Kurt being Badass.


"Don't you think this might be too much?"

Kurt fixed Blaine with one of his 'bitch please' glares and tugged the school blueprint out of the boy's hands.

"Look, you have no idea what it's going to be like. I do. Why do you think we parked a block away from school?" At Blaine's shrug, Kurt sighed in exasperation "Because the first thing they'll try to do is toss you into a dumpster"

"What?" Blaine asked, incredulous, and Kurt raised an eyebrow at him.

"Second guessing yet? I told you, you should have told me about your stupid transfer idea beforehand. That way I might have drilled some sense into you"

"I am most definitely not second guessing," Blaine said, with a lofty air, and Kurt snorted.

"Good, because it gets worse. So, if you want to avoid the dumpster dive, you'll either want to arrive to school extremely early or you need to start learning the school entries that might get you out of the way. I suggest these two," he said, pointing at two spots conveniently marked in red "but they might be closed sometimes, in those cases, you might as well just pray the jocks got late or are distracted. You might want to avoid getting thrown on a Tuesday, though. The dumpsters are always empty those days."

"Right…" Blaine said, studying the blueprint with a skeptical look that Kurt choose to ignore or he would end up slapping some sense into Blaine, and he really didn't feel like slapping his boyfriend.

"Then there's the slushie attack. You can't really do much to avoid those, unless you have flash reflexes, so it would be really smart to always have a change of clothes in your locker. Also, if you can, try to close your eyes. Those things sting like a bitch."

"I'm sure it's not going to be-" Blaine started, but Kurt interrupted him.

"Yes, Blaine, it WILL be. Unless you want to think again about the whole acting like a couple idea of yours"

"No. That's not up to discussion. I am not hiding away from them. WE are not hiding away from anyone," said Blaine, with such fierce intensity that Kurt took a few seconds to admire his boyfriend's admittedly cute stupidity.

"Fine, then memorize the blueprint, and remember the clothes"

"Got it," he said, reaching out to start the car again, but Kurt halted his hand before he could even touch the key"

"Hold it there, we're not over yet. There's still the pushing into lockers issue."

"What is your sage advice for those?"

Kurt smiled, but there was no humor in it.

"Actually, none. Just try not to land badly. I still haven't figured out how to avoid those."

Blaine reached out a hand to grab one of Kurt's and squeezed it lightly, staring at his eyes.

"Look, Kurt, I know it's going to be hard, I'm not delusional. But I want it to happen, ok? And we can figure out a way to deal best with all of it. Together."

Kurt did not look convinced.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It happened on a Wednesday. Blaine was running late, so he had to text Kurt to go ahead and don't wait for him. By the time he parked his Bentley on the parking lot, there was a cluster of red jackets waiting for him right on the path to school, and next to the dumpsters. He considered just for a second to do as Kurt had told him and enter the school from the other entrances, but he discarded the idea. His hands gripped the wheel tightly before getting out of the car.

He could do this.

"Hey, look who decided to come to school? It's the prep school homo," said Azimio in his usual drawl, and the guys laughed around him. Blaine felt his heart racing, and he was having a hard time deciding if it was from fear or adrenaline. He wanted to face his bullies so badly after having met Kurt, he had felt even more like a coward, wanted his chance at redemption, so to speak. And here he was, scared shitless and yet excited. He was pretty sure it was a weird combination. He put his game face on.

"Why hello there, fine gentlemen. I don't suppose you're waiting for me to have a nice conversation, I guess?"

"He even speaks like a damn fag. Did you get tired of screwing your mates at your fag school? Cause we don't roll that way here," another jock said, comically sincere in his worry. Blaine snorted.

"No, you roll much better here, you go around pushing people around because you're so scared of the things you can't understand. Almost like kindergarten kids. You must be so proud," the sarcastic tone was not as obvious as Kurt made it sound, so it took the jocks longer to realize they were being insulted. It was a matter of seconds. Someone grabbed him by the arms, other by the legs, and soon enough he was soaring through the air, and landing heavily on a pile of plastic bags and something that made a wet sound and he did not look forward to see exactly what it was. The laughs and insults and threats kept on for a few seconds, and then they left him alone, going inside. Blaine laid there on the dumpster, a confusing mix of feelings going inside his mind and face.

He was surprised, disgusted, happy, disappointed, furious, accomplished, and many more. He thought it was physically impossible for a human being to feel all that without exploding.

The bell rang, waking him up and he sprang to his feet, jumping over the dumpster to land gracefully on the pavement, and walked to the school with a spring on his step that should be completely out of place considering what just happened. But he was somewhat happy. He was getting to know Kurt's pain so much better. He couldn't find out about this, though, and he was grateful that the dumpster dive was not something he could actually guess.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He realized soon that he had been stupid at thinking he could hide it from Kurt. As soon as the boy was within three meters ratio from him, Kurt's nose sniffed twice, and his face darkened with knowledge.

"They tossed you," he accused, and Blaine closed his locker slowly, raising both eyebrows and playing dumb.

"What do you mean?" He knew it was a bad move when the corners of Kurt's mouth dropped down and his eyes were cold with disappointment and he sported him that 'I thought better of you' look that he both loved and hated so much. He sighed. He really should have known better than to try to hide something from Kurt's stupid sixth sense. "Fine, you win. They did toss me into a dumpster. It felt good, actually," he admitted.

"You are not allowed to seek these things out," said Kurt, pointing a menacing finger at him "I know you feel like you should confront them, and I agree, but to openly and directly search for them? That's stupid, Blaine."

"I am not searching for them, ok? I'm-Look, Kurt, I'm just not avoiding them. It's not the same. I don't want to run away from-"

"Oh for god's sake, Blaine! Stop it with the running away karma!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation "I get it, you feel bad and you want to face the world. I can relate to that! And I'm happy to have you here, and I'm proud of what you're doing. But I don't want to deal with unnecessary bullying to you, so don't go looking for it, ok? Try to avoid it, at least?"

Blaine could not sincerely promise Kurt he would, because he wouldn't. He was here at McKinley for two reasons and two reasons only. He was going to stay with Kurt. And he was going to face bullies. And if he was going to face them, he certainly needed the opportunities to do so. And the first thing on the list was to experiment all kinds of abuse. So he looked at Kurt and nodded.

"I'll do my best"

It wasn't his fault that his best wasn't so great, right?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It happened a week after he officially joined New Directions. He was walking down the hallway, reading over some sheet of music when it hit him.

It was sudden, cold, extremely sweet, sticky, and utterly disgusting.

It was also very much wet.

It was his very luck that he was wearing a white t-shirt that day. The laughter and insults faded away, and he felt like grinning. So this was how being slushied felt. It was absolutely horrible. He calmly walked down the hallway to the boy's bathroom, earning some confused looks at his smiling face, and some appreciative looks at his damp torso.

Word went fast in that school, because Blaine had not even opened the tap yet when the door opened and Kurt strode into the room, grabbing Blaine by the arm and dragging him down to the door opposite from the hallway, to the girl's bathroom.

"I never would have pegged you for stereotyping. Girls bathroom, really?"

"You don't want to clean yourself up and let some jock find you in any state of semi nudity in the bathroom. Trust me. Now take off your shirt, it's beyond help"

"You know this would have sounded much better in a different context," Blaine joked, but obediently took off his shirt and handed it out to Kurt, who took a second too long to take it. His cheeks were slightly pink even while he was staring down at Blaine with another 'I'm judging you' glare, while rummaging around his bag.

"Here, put this on. And try not to get slushied again. That shirt is Dior. You know what?" he said, frowning, and taking the shirt back, putting it inside the bag and taking out another, more plain shirt and giving it to Blaine "If you insist on being stupid, then you lose your right to look fashionable. Wear this"

Blaine smiled at him and sighed in a very patient way, and took the shirt. They did a quick but thorough job of cleaning the sticky sugar out of his hair, and he had to admit that having Kurt rub his fingers on his scalp felt incredibly good, even if he was leaning so his head was close to the tap and it was hurting his back.

"You know, you might have to lay low on the gel, it will be pretty pointless"

"Is that your wishful thinking or you actually mean that?"

"Well, it doesn't hurt that you would look much better without drowning your curls in hair product"

"They look stupid," accused Blaine, trying to frown but realizing he was facing the faucet anyway.

"They look good, they would look even better if you would let me teach you how to handle it"

"Not even in your dreams, Hummel," he said, and was about to add something more when Kurt pushed his head down and effectively drowned his words with the water that was collecting on the faucet. It was only a second, and he sputtered, trying to sound offended through the laughter.

"I could have drowned!" he exclaimed, and Kurt just crossed his arms and held his chin high.

"That's what you get for being stubborn. Now dry your stupid hairdo and put on your plain and boring shirt. We're going to be late for Glee."

He did as he was told, only smiling slightly, and when he was finished, he turned to Kurt, only to find him glaring at the stained shirt in his hands.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned. Kurt transferred his glare from the shirt to Blaine.

"I'm not going to convince you to stop acting like an idiot, am I?"

"Ummm…" Blaine pretended to think and then smiled "Nope."

He could see the resolution set into Kurt's face like someone who was about to take on a huge challenge.

"Fine. If you insist on doing that, I'll have to handle things on my end. You are to meet me in the parking lot tomorrow at five in the morning tomorrow."

Kurt would not say why, and Blaine had no choice but to follow him to Glee, feeling confused and slightly worried.

His worry increased tenfold when he saw Kurt approach Noah Puckerman and heard only half of the conversation.

"Puck, I need your wise knowledge on all things vandalized. Do you have a minute?"

If Puck's eager face was any indication, he was worried about his morning.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

It was slightly dark at that early hour, and Blaine parked the car close to the school, next to Kurt's Navigator. The boy was waiting for him, standing against the wall and dressed fashionably as always, but with a clear predominance of black in the outfit. He was carrying a small bag other than his usual messenger bag. Blaine swallowed and braced himself for whatever his boyfriend had in mind.

"So, tell me there's a good reason I woke up so early today," he said, as a way of greeting. Kurt pulled him close and stole a kiss from him, which surprised Blaine greatly but he was not about to complain. It wasn't everyday Kurt decided to show his affections in public, never mind the place was completely isolated.

"What is about to transpire here is not to be talked about. Ever. This morning never happened. You never met with me here, you don't know what happened, you were sleeping. Agreed?"

"Kurt, what are you-" he started, but Kurt glared insistently and Blaine sighed "Fine, agreed. Now care to explain?"

Kurt took his hand and dragged him around school, looking around and hiding in every corner, making a beeline for wherever they were actually going.

"Kurt, seriously, what is going on?"

"I've decided that since you were not going to do anything about the abuse directed at you, because some absurd moral idea that built inside your brain, I would have to take care of things. Now I can't do much about the lockers yet, but I figured something out. Actually, I'm kind of surprised I never thought about this, but I guess being at Dalton kind of made me realize I could be active in stopping the bullying without needing the assistance of the adults."

"Kurt, you're scaring me right now. What are you about to do? What are WE about to do?"

They stopped in front of the slushie machine. Kurt put his small bag down, and took out two gloves, and put them on, while Blaine alternated between starting at Kurt worriedly, and looking around for signs of witnesses. No one was in school grounds, and he felt himself relax just slightly. When he looked back at Kurt, his eyes went wide. The boy was mixing some kind of dough or paste that was divided into two colors.

"Are those explosives!" he asked, more than slightly worried and strangely turned on by the idea. Kurt being a badass was some mental image he could not shake easily out of his brain.

"Are you insane? Of course they're not," said Kurt, looking at him briefly and shaking his head "It's just plumber stuff. It goes rock solid on a few seconds," he explained, and once the mix was satisfying, he started shoving the dough into the coin slot. Blaine's brain caught up to him.

"Oh. Oh!" he said, once he realized what Kurt was doing "Well that certainly was smart"

"I know. I feel insulted at myself for not figuring it out sooner. It's not going to be permanent, but I'm willing to bet Figgins will take his time fixing it. It won't be cheap"

"You do realize this is vandalism, right?"

"What thing?" he asked, almost whistling to himself.

"You breaking the machine"

"I'm not doing that," Kurt said, almost genuinely confused. Blaine knew better. "I have no idea how that got in there," Kurt said, putting the box of dough back in the bag and standing up. Blaine noticed he didn't take off his gloves. "And neither do you. Now come on, there's only one stop left before we go get ourselves some celebratory coffees"

Kurt lead him to the parking lot, and Blaine was starting to think Kurt was getting cold feet and decided to leave when he noticed that he was most definitely not heading for the cars, but the dumpsters. Oh.

Once there, Kurt took a can out of the bag and opened it. An intoxicating smell invaded the fresh morning air.

"Super Glue?"

"Stronger than anything you ever knew," Kurt said, almost proudly, and faced the container, starting to apply it all along the border. Once he was finished, he reached out and pushed the lid close. There was a satisfying wet sound of plastic hitting glued plastic, and Kurt finally took his gloves off, putting it all back into the bag. Blaine just stared at him.

"You are so hot," said Blaine in awe, unable to refrain himself. Kurt beamed at him.

"I know. I'm also super smart. I have to if I have to handle a stupid boyfriend who jumps into dumpsters willingly and steps in front of slushies. Now this dumpster fix won't last for long, but I'm willing to do it until they decide to put cameras up to see who's vandalizing the dumpsters. Once the cameras are up, they won't be able to toss anyone anymore. How about a coffee about now?"

"I'm buying," Said Blaine, still slightly in awe.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The jocks were still struggling with trying to open the dumpster when Kurt and Blaine passed by them, hand in hand, ignoring the cluster of jocks. They shouted insults and laughter at them, but they lacked the usual bite, with half of them staring at the huge container with confusion and disappointment in their faces.

At lunch, they found another cluster of jocks struggling to put coins into the blocked slushie machine, unable to see what was blocking the coin slot and swearing. They watched the Glee clubbers sit down and enjoy lunch with something akin to longing in their faces while they hold their empty slushie cups.

By afternoon, word had gone around, and everyone in glee was excitedly talking and speculating. Kurt sat down graciously on one of the chairs, and Blaine followed not a few minutes later, both doing a great job of playing dumb and joining in on the speculation. But Blaine had a small smile on his lips the whole day, and Kurt glanced only briefly at Puck, who grinned back and then quickly looked away, playing dumber.

It was the beginning of an era.


End file.
